People got married once in a life for a reason, because of the tedious preparation work and the stress of meeting expectations.

In case you didn't follow, it was a month away to my big day and the piling of stress is definitely bottling up and it decided to let go in tear form today. 

It is no joke of crazy bride they call or the kind of psychology syndrome that people facing. I was in a whole despair today seeking of no help and feeling very very helpless of this of cycle of just to meet people expectations and the heavy burden of all these people telling me 
"it's a once in a lifetime, might as well" 

I swear for the next time that I heard this one coming from someone, I will just ask them to shut the fuck up. 

Like, who is the one started with this marriage thing? 
Man, that person really know how to make money. And, he must be one free man. 

Me, not so free, is dying coping with just trying to look my best. I've been waking up really early in the morning just to go to the gym. I've also been picking out of all the guilty and sinful dinner that I had, just because I had to and I am not proud of myself. 

I am in a constant mode of busy worrying and it wasn't enjoyable at all. 
Because this wedding "style" wasn't what I expecting at all. 

I just want it to be simple.
But looks like simple is the hardest. 
How many guests I will have to please. How many people I will have to greet. 

And I successfully did it. I am a crazy bride-to-be today. 
Lying on the bed crying. And I hate myself for this so much. 

Signing off,
Glad that people only have to marry once. 

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